The Cunning Linguist

REstart

2009-09-22T00:26:00.000+08:00

I will get this blog up and running again. I swear.

bolt.

2009-06-19T09:52:00.003+08:00

This goes out to YuanLih, who's preparing for a big marathon thats coming up.

Disclaimer: The pic will not fit in the damn frame!

i'd love for you to take me.

2009-06-14T01:33:00.000+08:00

Mandy and I met Yuna at took a picture with her!...

Thats TWO Malaysian Female Artists I've taken pics with! :D

man-boobs.

2009-06-09T10:13:00.000+08:00

I saw this at Padini Concept, Pavilion... at the Men's Department. I stress... MEN'S DEPARTMENT.

Notice the mannequin on the right.

And I thought MY moobs were bad.

ipoh mali.

2009-06-03T06:51:00.002+08:00

Today,

I'm off to Ipoh for three whole day's. Will be at the La Salle Centre, Ipoh.

Its some silly church camp thing.

Don't ask.

FML.

swastika.

2009-05-29T23:42:00.003+08:00

I may be a grammar nazi... but Mandy's a nazi.

we're beautiful, dirty, rich.

2009-05-27T15:47:00.000+08:00

As we all know, I now work at NOIR, Pavillion. Its been that way for the past two weeks +.

Trying to get a job at Pav was hard. At every shop that advertised for a Part-Timer, they only either wanted a Chinese, or a Female, or a Chinese-Female. Motherfuckers.

SO, as I was playing pool the other night with AaronLovesKaren, WooiHongIsUgly, and DannyBoy, Aaron mentioned this:

Aaron: So, what does NOIR mean anyway?

Chris: Its French for Black.

Aaron: OOOO, so THATS how you got the job la.

SO, I guess I will only be able to get jobs based on my skin colour.

Fuck My Life.

wet.

2009-05-20T21:20:00.001+08:00

I got an A- on Fluid Mechanics!

:-D

never.

2009-05-17T07:50:00.001+08:00

Never bite the hand that fingers you.

East

2009-05-12T20:02:00.002+08:00

*In the toilet*

Ms M: Baby, I can't have you on the other side of the door while I shit! It makes me nervous!

Mr. C: I MAKE YOU NERVOUS TO GO?

Ms. M: YES! Then I can't go easily! And, DON'T blog about this!

Mr. C: But i havent blogged in a few days! I need inspiration, and you're my muse!

Ms M: I'm not gonna be your shitting muse!

Mr. C: You already are! (:

heritage row.

2009-05-08T18:49:00.000+08:00

As an Indian (albeit only half), I'm still pretty proud of anything Indian. Be it the people who made their way to the top or even how, despite known for being as the race of somebody's driver or most robbers, the Indian community still are a harmonious bunch.

I'm just saddened at the fact that, as an Indian, I will never be able to fully and proudly call myself and Indian. Because I've realised that, most probably definitely, in my whole life, I'll never be able to...

tap rubber.

quickie.

2009-05-07T14:48:00.003+08:00

DAYS FREE OF SMOKING:
1. 0.

tak nak.

2009-05-07T14:48:00.000+08:00

I have decided to stop smoking.

Thus, I've started a sort of a daily counter to track my day's free of smoking. It's sorta of a way to keep my spirits up.

DAYS FREE OF SMOKING:
1

Good luck, ChrisG.

takes her/the pill.

2009-05-06T20:30:00.002+08:00

On MSN, with my good friend, JIL:

℃` says:
jil

jil. if there's a million reasons for you to go, and if you can't find a reason to stay. says:
yeah?

℃` says:
i just have to ask...
got hot wings?

jil. if there's a million reasons for you to go, and if you can't find a reason to stay. says:
FUCK OFFFFFFFFFFF
YOU KILLED 10THOUSAND BRAIN CELLS OF MINE TODAY
SO DONT HOT WINGS ME ALREADY!
ok and dont post this on your blog pls -.-

℃` says:
I JUST DID

jil. if there's a million reasons for you to go, and if you can't find a reason to stay. says:
FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Don't stress out, Jil!

at this rate, I might as well Twitter.

2009-05-05T22:40:00.001+08:00

Today, she wanted it THREE times!

the brilliance of amanda faith khoo.

2009-05-04T23:04:00.000+08:00

As we know, my blog's url is www.chrisgeorge.co.nr.

CO.NR.

And now, I have a job at Noir.

co.NR = Noir.

She said its fated.

O M G.

You are so funny, I swear!

black.

2009-05-04T15:56:00.001+08:00

Chris now works at Noir , Pavillion, KL.

now will you accept me, mensa?

2009-05-02T17:36:00.003+08:00

Free-IQTest.net - IQ Test

along the thin pink line.

2009-05-01T13:29:00.002+08:00

Longest one minute of my life.

sell out.

2009-04-30T09:06:00.002+08:00

This blog is now worth RM0.50!!!!

Thank you Corporate Advertising!!

bodobodo.

2009-04-29T18:37:00.002+08:00

If ANYONE realised, I haven't been online for the past 3 days. This was all thanks to my faulty PC. Sunday morning, I woke up and went online. Went for church, came back and discovered that the Internet wasn't working. After much searching and probing my PC, yes, i probed my PC, i discovered that the PC had somehow, BY ITSELF, deleted my network.

There I was, needing to watch some porn because i was UTTERLY horny wanting to check what was the word's latest news on BBC.com, and the Internet magically managed to wipe itself off my PC's hard drive.

I suck at computers. All i know is how to get to www.iloveporn.com surf the net and chat.

SO, I tried everything. I kept restarting the modem and router, thinking that would somehow make my network reappear.

I tried hitting the CPU a few times to get the network to reappear.

I even PRAYED. Then opened my eyes to see the network STILL missing.

Then it hit me, "stupid, just fucking make a new network!". EUREKA!

And for the past three days, all I've been doing was making new networks because everytime i did, and thought everything was alright, the Internet STILL didn't work.

Finally I had some free time today, and called STREAMYX to solve my problems. Believe me, i was utterly embarrassed as I told the tech. support guy my problem. I think he was holding back his laughter as he pointed me in the right direction.

But wait... as he was telling me what to do, I realised that what he said was exactly what I had been doing for the past three days!!

So i told him, that ive been doing all this and STILL nothing has happend.

And then it came... the point where i was completely red-faced. (thank god he couldn't see my face over the telephone).

Tech support guy: You sure you did all this?
Did you actually use the correct username
and password?
Chris : Yea I did, username is xxxxxx right?
Tech support guy: Yea, xxxxxx@streamyx
Chris : OH. right. @STREAMYX..... T.T

Then he gave me a list of things to do to trouble shoot the problem, and if it still didn't work, to call him back.

But i knew that wouldn't happen. Because all this while, for the past three days, IVE BEEN FUCKING dumb and FORGOT TO ADD THE "@streamyx"!!!

Ugh.

Sometimes I think I'm retarded.

UGH.

braless

2009-04-28T21:11:00.001+08:00

Exams are over.

I feel like a girl who just took off her bra.

LIBERATION!

all surveyed out.

2009-04-28T14:22:00.001+08:00

world's most weirdest.

2009-04-26T23:07:00.000+08:00

The other day, I was going through the daily comics in The Star and I came across this:

All I could think to myself was "HMMMMMMMMM, THIS looks familiar!!"

I swear, this is Mandy with an authentic pose.

If you look closely, you'd realise that its even the same leg that is bent!

Baby, could you GET any weirder? (:

i wonder.

2009-04-25T14:03:00.000+08:00

I wonder if I could cut of a piece of Mandy's skin and then harvest it.

Then let it grow really big and long.

And then, use it as a bed sheet!

Then I'd sleep on it EVERYDAY!

(:

I love her skin.

i had a dream.

2009-04-24T10:18:00.004+08:00

I had a dream last night i married a muslim girl. OH MY ALLAH LORD!

I blame Nel for this. Look what chatting with you made me do!

ladies, mine just got shorter.

2009-04-22T21:11:00.001+08:00

For those of you who DON'T bookmark my blog's url, and type it all out every time you wish to visit this shitass blog... I've just made it easier for you because i adore and cherish my readers and always want to make their lives easier.

From now on, it is now www.chrisgeorge.co.nr

I just felt like getting a domain for myself. Besides, its free.

Although i really wish the .nr wasn't there!

I had to strike that through because under the TERMS & CONDITIONS, I'm not allowed to critize the ".nr". WTF (:

algeBRA. i can never take it off.

2009-04-22T21:05:00.002+08:00

Ethnic Relations : Twas a relatively easy one. But a dumb ass paper in general. 5 more to go. Ugh.

Basic Entrepreneurship Culture : This was total MALAY SUPREMACY. All the lectures i attended for this class were in ENGLISH. The notes which i revised for were in ENGLISH. The examination, however, was in MALAY. When i sat down at my table, I realized my questions were in MALAY. And so I asked the exam coordinator for the ENGLISH set, because the INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS had theirs in ENGLISH. She came back to me after 5 mins saying that the lecturer did not allow ME to take it in ENGLISH because it would affect my answering. I was bewildered. I saw the lecturer and told him "YOUR LECTURES WERE IN ENGLISH, YOUR NOTES WERE IN ENGLISH, WHY CANT I TAKE THE EXAM IN ENGLISH?" His reply: "YOU ARE MALAYSIAN, SO IT SHOULD BE NO PROBLEM TO ANSWER IN MALAY". This was already 10 mins into the exam, so i just left him and DID IT IN MALAY. If the national exams (SPM, PMR, UPSR) can be done in BILINGUAL, I see no bloody reason why THE UNIVERSITY OF MALAYA can't have their exams in BILINGUAL. ITS NO F**KING WONDER WE'RE SO LOW ON THE WORLD UNIVERSITY's RANKING LIST.

Algebra : I've never been THIS happy about an exam. However, i'd like to note that THIS PAPER WAS IN FUCKING BILINGUAL. Wtf. Either the university reads this blog, or my Algebra lecturer has more brains than that other poor excuse for a lecturer. Three down, Three more to go!

Strength of Materials

Fluid Mechanics

Surveying

i am your boyfriend baby.

2009-04-21T23:26:00.000+08:00

To SYAMIR, may you never stop chasing your dream of banging a MILF:

To RICHARD, now you are free from moments like this:

Good luck to the both of you. (:

its no wonder we're still not in the top 200's.

2009-04-21T14:23:00.000+08:00

Ethnic Relations : Twas a relatively easy one. But a dumb ass paper in general. 5 more to go. Ugh.

Basic Entrepreneurship Culture : This was total MALAY SUPREMACY. All the lectures i attended for this class were in ENGLISH. The notes which i revised for were in ENGLISH. The examination, however, was in MALAY. When i sat down at my table, I realized my questions were in MALAY. And so I asked the exam coordinator for the ENGLISH set, because the INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS had theirs in ENGLISH. She came back to me after 5 mins saying that the lecturer did not allow ME to take it in ENGLISH because it would affect my answering. I was bewildered. I saw the lecturer and told him "YOUR LECTURES WERE IN ENGLISH, YOUR NOTES WERE IN ENGLISH, WHY CANT I TAKE THE EXAM IN ENGLISH?" His reply: "YOU ARE MALAYSIAN, SO IT SHOULD BE NO PROBLEM TO ANSWER IN MALAY". This was already 10 mins into the exam, so i just left him and DID IT IN MALAY. If the national exams (SPM, PMR, UPSR) can be done in BILINGUAL, I see no bloody reason why THE UNIVERSITY OF MALAYA can't have their exams in BILINGUAL. ITS NO F**KING WONDER WE'RE SO LOW ON THE WORLD UNIVERSITY's RANKING LIST.

Algebra

Strength of Materials

Fluid Mechanics

Surveying

no one knows.

2009-04-20T20:16:00.000+08:00

I know you probably don't read this blog. But be strong!

Good Luck!

gone for lunch.

2009-04-20T18:48:00.001+08:00

I'm starting my Finals today. Can't believe its already been A YEAR in UM. OMG.

Ethnic Relations : Twas a relatively easy one. But a dumb ass paper in general. 5 more to go. Ugh.

Basic Entrepreneurship Culture

Algebra

Strength of Materials

Fluid Mechanics

Surveying

transparent.

2009-04-20T00:18:00.002+08:00

Justice must not only be done but justice must be seen to be done.

In a different light.

2009-04-19T13:46:00.010+08:00

This letter was published in the NST not too long ago. It is interesting. So read at your own pleasure.

HEALTH WARNING: Those suffering from easily-bored-disorder(EBD) or those who sleep off easily after reading a blog-post by Yap Wooi Hong are discouraged from reading this.

Science versus Earth Hour

As the lights went out for Earth Hour at 8.30pm on Saturday 28 March to protest against man-made global warming, our scientist family did exactly the opposite. We switched on every single light in our energy efficient bungalow in Bandar Baru Bangi. By holding this mini festival of light we were saying that mankind’s increasing use of electricity has nothing to do with global warming.

My wife, a retired scientist, had been complaining all week about the unrelenting Earth Hour campaign on TV, radio and the newspapers to get one billion worldwide to ‘vote’ in this way against global warming. She pointed out that it is mainly youth that are getting sucked into this campaign. “This is immoral and an insult to everything we have achieved. I studied under oil lamps until I was 16. Electricity got us out of poverty and built Malaysia. It transformed society. If anyone messes up our electricity supply its back to oil lamps and paddy farming. That’s what our youth don’t realise. People are so ungrateful. Allah gave us the unique ability to make important discoveries like electricity to develop mankind. But now the WWF is trying to convince youth to feel guilty about consuming electricity. The earth needs more and more electricity. That is how we measure our improving standard of living.”

My objection to the Earth Hour campaign is also fundamental. Man-made global warming is simply not true; it is a man-made fraud. Thirty one thousand scientists so far, including me, have felt it necessary to protest against this fraud by publishing our names and qualifications in a properly conducted internet poll.

There is nothing new or to fear about global warming. It is not caused by man’s industrialisation, by over-development or ‘over-population’ as long claimed by Prince Philip, the founder of WWF and the iconic leader of the green environmental movement. Global warming is a perfectly natural phenomenon. Ten thousand year Global Warming periods followed by 100,000 year Ice Ages have occurred with some regularity for the last 2 million years and probably throughout much of the 4.5 billion years of life on earth. What causes climate change is the earth’s varying tilt and elliptical orbit around the sun and our solar system’s long journey through the Milky Way together with cosmic radiation from exploding stars. Most of this basic science has been known for 100 years. Carbon dioxide is not an environmental poison but has been named by 10 generations of scientists as ‘the gas of life’ which by photosynthesis in green plants gets converted to organic matter, as taught to our standard 6 students. The small additional carbon dioxide produced by industrial man is a bonus, not a threat to life on earth. Our Malaysian rainforest climate is the earth’s best example of the tremendous benefits of global warming and higher levels of CO2. Malaysia’s constantly warm climate, high rainfall, plenty of sunlight and high natural carbon dioxide levels, caused by plentiful rotting vegetation, all combine to produce the highest rate of biomass production in the world. The Kenaf tree in Malaysia can grow to 5 meters in 4 months. A new Malaysian grass plantation is producing sustainable one meter cut grass for climate housed cows every 30 days. This Malaysian invention, Deep Tropical agriculture, can transform food production in Malaysia and, with cheap desalinated water and electricity produced by the new ‘inherently safe’ 4^thgeneration nuclear power stations, can spread throughout the dry tropical regions of the world, even deserts. Scientist now know in principle how to feed the population during the next ice age which leading climatologists say will begin with a mini-ice age by 2050, within the lifespan of half of the world’s population. We must therefore urgently get back to the big science of my youth, like Atoms for Peace, the Green Revolution and the Man on the Moon mission. The very best investment from Malaysia’s economic stimulus packages is a great increase in science and engineering scholarships at all levels for the best generation of youth in our history.

Mohd Peter Davis

Bandar Baru Bangi

Disclaimer.

2009-04-19T00:08:00.003+08:00

Mandy and I are STILL very much together. Very much in love.

biggest mistake of my life thus far.

2009-04-18T23:25:00.000+08:00

I should have never let it go.

Thanks a lot, bitch.

it looks like i just got a problem.

2009-04-18T10:24:00.000+08:00

Hmmm, this gives me an idea.

troubled thoughts and self-esteem to match.

2009-04-17T11:11:00.000+08:00

Maybe that will help me sleep.

tumbling over pride.

2009-04-16T23:01:00.001+08:00

I think Chris is too nice.

Find people. Follow them.

2009-04-16T12:09:00.001+08:00

Alright, I caved and got Twitter. Happy now, Internet?

will you say goodbye?

2009-04-16T11:15:00.000+08:00

betray |biˈtrā|verb [ trans. ]be disloyal to : his friends were shocked when he betrayed them.

of lower backs, thighs and stupid lies.

2009-04-15T09:27:00.003+08:00

As Simeon said to Mary, "And a sword will pierce your own heart."
Luke 2:35

but words will always kill me.

2009-04-14T21:26:00.003+08:00

It is like they always say, "there is always someone better than you out there."

NIgger, please!

2009-04-14T00:35:00.001+08:00

Amanda and I tried to make a baby just now.

We got into it, trying again and again until it was finally done...

And after a long 9 minutes of waiting, mood swings, cravings and hair-ripping tantrums, our baby finally came.

And... this is what we got for our efforts...

Chris George Jr.?? I THINK NOT!

MY GOD. Did you cheat on me, baby??

That is SO not OUR child!!

Sigh.

Guess we gotta try harder and longer next time.

Thanks alot, Faten!

:S

Link to make babies : www.vw.com/vwhype/babymaker/en/us/

she's gonna be a model

2009-04-06T23:17:00.003+08:00

You are the one to make it happen!

The power is in YOUR hands!

You know you want to!

You know you have to!

You know you NEED to!!

So quickly, get to this website. Click here to vote for AMANDA KHOO.

You're vote will get her a step closer to be crowned L’Oreal Hydrafresh Face Search 2009!!!

Its a "one vote per person" contest, so get your friends, your family, your friend's friends, your neighbour, your neighbour's neighbour (which is also your other neighbour). family doctor, family laywer, gardener, florist, plumber, secretary, dog, cat, and even your girl/boyfriend to vote for her.

After all, its not everyday you'd be able to say "hey, i know the L’Oreal Hydrafresh Face Search 2009 winner!!

So make it happen. Crown Amanda Khoo and see yourself getting more popular too!!

(:

Click here . Or here . Or here . Or even here . And if you missed that, click HERE to vote for AMANADA KHOO!

And we all go KABOOM!

2009-04-03T00:31:00.000+08:00

In a few hours, Dato' Seri Najib will be our NEW PRIME MINISTER!!

Guess now we all better think twice before doing anything... unless we wanna be blown to bits... KABOOM!!

Next time you see Razak Baginda near your house... BETTER RUN FOR COVER!!

Malaysia Boleh!!

Dont you just feel proud to know he's in charge now? I know I do!!

ME MAD

2009-04-02T16:21:00.001+08:00

UGH

I wake up ~~every~~ almost every day at 6am so that I can hopefully get a place on our ~~amazing and reliable~~ incompetant Putra LRT train that'll take me to the most ~~exciting~~ dullest place on earth, the University of Malaya.

But things are starting to get out of hand.

Now, even BEFORE 7am, the trains are already packed and I have to wait HALF-A-FREAKKING-HOUR to get somewhat NEAR the front of the line, only to have to wait ANOTHER fifteen minutes to be able to be next in line to cram myself into the already bursting carriage.

Look at the digital clock at the top: ONLY A MINUTE PAST 7am!!

It was insane, I tell you. There I was, half asleep and yawning every 5 minutes, standing in a line that was only inching forward every time a carriage came. After all, every carriage is so packed, only one ~~asshole~~ lucky person gets to board before the door closes. And let me tell you, even that is no easy feat!

Other people are already falling out of the carriage when the doors open so for the next one to board, you gotta be a master contortionist if your gonna have a chance at getting to your destination on time!

Somethings gotta be done. The service needs to be improved dramatically! I feel like seeking out the management and addressing this problem to them, but I'm so sure my reply would be:

Chris : You need to do something about the problem!

Putra management dick: Ini Malaysia, bang! Dan kami ~~Melayu~~ malas, so, kami akan pretend yang kami akan membuat sesuatu dan akan melayani aduan kamu. Tapi sebaiknya you blah dari sini... kami akan kembali ke lunch break kami, yang kami ambil setiap satu jam.

~~~

or if he could speak english...

Putra management dick in the typical datuk/minister accent : Actuali... we oledi trying to fixs dis problem... haaa... tapi, you see, dis problem is not easy.... aaaa, ha ha ha... yes yes... we will try to fixs dis problem... but, haa, you just have to wait and see la...

~~~

I know this is just an assumption, but wouldn't it be a close-to-accurate one? So, all I can say is...

Malaysia Boleh! Which is another terribly overused phrase because it means nothing as Malaysia TIDAK boleh, but that is for another time. Peace. (:

Disclaimer: No Putra Management Officers and/or Melayus were harmed in the making of this post.

Easy peasy

2009-04-01T22:11:00.006+08:00

Richard and I saw this posted on the wall at a nearby mamak:-

Kerja senang sahaja?

...

I mean seriously, what prostitute kerani gets paid RM3,000? Not to mention its kerja senang sahaja! And you only need to trick the strees work at your desk for 6 hours. Honestly, do you need PMR/SPM to know how to go spread eagle for paying customers operate MS Word?

...

Well, for all you ladies who wanna kerja senang sahaja, do feel free to call Mr. Raj!

Dark Fables Auditions

2009-03-29T00:51:00.001+08:00

I'm helping out a friend. Read below:

Host:	Dark Fabels
Type:	Music/Arts - Audition
Network:	Global

Date:	07 April 2009
Time:	19:30 - 22:30
Location:	Puppetshoulders Music and Danceworks
Street:	2A, Lorong Air Kerja Lama, Ampang Jaya
Town/City:	Ampang, Malaysia
	View Map

Phone:

0122930882

Email:

blossom_pig@hotmail.com, dawncheong@yahoo.com

We're an up and coming dance and drama company. recruiting new talents for a troupe to do gig's, events and devised theatre. Those who are taken on, will be trained according to the level that is required. First hour will be for Dancers, 8.30pm onwards for Acting. Feel free to give both subjects a try. BE ON TIME!

Dancing : bring photos, CV, high heels (girls), trainers. (the routine will be leaning more towards the hip hop side)
Acting : bring photos, CV, Contemporary monologue (2-3mins), a prop which is of sentiment to you and create a 2 minute monologue with it, it can be a true story or a made up one.

We will be working on a professional level, so come to impress. the callbacks will be held on the following tuesday (14th April). Please spread the word. Hope to see u there!!!

love,
Camellia (0122930882) & Dawn (0123937993)

Feet in a mile

2009-03-28T15:34:00.000+08:00

Happy 11 Months baby!

Chris @ SunBurst KL '09

2009-03-23T00:06:00.001+08:00

Pic's were taken with Jue's camera.

Got there at 4PM and met up with MandySoRandy, after picking Jue up.

First band I watched was Dead Mushrooms. They were so dead, we sat through it. Along with many others.

Then it was off to watch ESTRELLA. (:

ESTRELLA's other songs besides Stay were really good too. And Liyana, the lead singer, is hot. (:

Then, after their performance, we met her in the field and got our picture taken with LIYANA!

Isn't she the CUTEST thing??

Anyway, after that it was basically just us wasting time while waiting for the next band we wanted to watch, which was ESTRANGED.

We also went to the SpeedZone tent cause it was air-condition to check out the F1 simulators!

We decided to visit the SILENT DISCO as well!

It was finally 7PM and it was time for ESTRANGED!!

And aku layan je...

My two favourite girls. One more than the other of course :)

Next, it was NIDJI!!! And let me tell you, not only are their songs good, they are really really really good entertainers!

And then began the ONE HOUR long wait for N.E.R.D. We decided to get to their stage early so we'd be right in front, so if ever PHARRELL's sweat dripped, it would have dripped on us!!

And thus we waited, and waited, and waited... So much so that Mandy started to get all twirley...

It was a smart idea of MandyJue's to wait real early, cause real soon it began to get real packed. And after a while, the crowd got very restless and started chanting for N.E.R.D to come out.

And then they finally came out!

The girls managed to climb over the barricade and got real close to the stage. I, however, was left behind... ):

This is how close they got.

And girls being girls, they couldn't resist doing this...

But it was about to get closer for them... For N.E.R.D decided to call up a few girls on stage and well... they were called. *&%#Q@&!$$@^&%@&*!!!

Even had time to camwhore on stage...

And take a picture of Pharrel as he talked to them...

Then it was time for KORN!!! Well, since KORN was to perform right after N.E.R.D at a different stage, we had to stand way at the back. And so instead of headbanging and jumping around, we just chilled out and enjoyed the soft sweet hard metal music that is KORN.

It was all over for us by 1AM. We didn't stay for the performances after that, so we bid goodbye to SunBurst KL '09 and hopefuly, make it back for next years event!! Still together of course. (: yes, with you too, JUE!

A good many dramatic situations begin with screaming.

2009-03-19T14:34:00.000+08:00

I'm helping out a friend. Read below:

Host:	Dark Fabels
Type:	Music/Arts - Audition
Network:	Global

Date:	07 April 2009
Time:	19:30 - 22:30
Location:	Puppetshoulders Music and Danceworks
Street:	2A, Lorong Air Kerja Lama, Ampang Jaya
Town/City:	Ampang, Malaysia
	View Map

Phone:

0122930882

Email:

blossom_pig@hotmail.com, dawncheong@yahoo.com

If see you kay.

2009-03-17T15:58:00.001+08:00

ARGH. I'm going outta my mind studying Surveying.

Its a dumb subject.

Looking around at my table, its a mess. Heck, somehow, even the BIBLE is on my table. I really need to clean this table. Or at least tidy it up. This is where Manjuli comes in handy i suppose.

Aihzz... I wonder who ever thought of compiling a gazillion books from all these saints and stuff to make the BIBLE. I wonder if i could write a BIBLE....

Let me try.

THE BIBLE (according to a malaysian university student):

1. The last supper would be eaten the next day - cold.
2. The 10 commandments would be actually only 5, double spaced, in large font.
3. To help other students, only one copy of it is published and then photocopied for the rest.
4. The "forbidden" fruit would have been eaten just because it wasnt the faculty's cafeteria's food.
5. St. Paul's letter to the Romans would be "St. Paul's email to: abuse@romans.gov
6. Reason Cain killed Abel : Abel didn't sign the attendance sheet for Cain who skipped the lecture.
7. The place where the world ends: NOT Armageddon but finals.
8. Reason why Moses and his people walked in the desert for 40 years : didn't wanna look like lost 1st year students.
9. Instead of God making the world in 6 days and resting on the 7th, he would have chilled out the whole week till the night it was due, then pulled an all-nighter.
10. I'm sorry... I was just this bored.

:s

Quote: "This is so not what the bookie told me."

2009-03-14T22:36:00.000+08:00

I'm watching the ManU-Liv game. Its the 84th min. We're looooosing 1-3.

I'm watching it at Mandy's house.

Her dad's a Liverpool fan. How much worse can it get.

Come to think of it...

The LAST game i watched with her by my side... was the Liv-ManU game, at Anfield. The score?
Liv won 2-1.

OMG. 2+2 = Mandy's a JINX!!!

... She just rolled her eyes.

1-800-SEX

2009-03-13T19:00:00.000+08:00

She came,

She slept,

She left.

My friends, i think i've just been booty call-ed.

I just made the biggest discovery ever.

2009-03-10T21:27:00.001+08:00

I can't believe that Linda Cardellini was Velma in Scooby Doo. i know, most of you probably knew that, but I DIDNT.

My god... Now thats someone who could be your Bookworm Bitch .

On the stereo

2009-03-10T21:08:00.001+08:00

"It is normal for Chinese girls to dress like this," he said, referring to girls in bareback...

comment by Deputy Higher Education Minister, Datuk Idris Haron.

from an article on Half-naked students at a UM function published in The New Straits Times.

All i can say is... What a fucking racist way to stereotype.

A boy's guide to questions we'll never get right

2009-03-10T12:24:00.001+08:00

This is for all us boys out there. It took me a few weeks to finish, but here it is! thank you baby for the inspiration. HAHA.

Imagine this. Your sitting one day on your couch and your about to watch the big game on TV. Opening your second beer, relaxed with the knowledge that the pizza you've ordered is on the way. Nothing could improve this moment, except maybe a bigger TV. Suddenly, your gf walks into the room and asks, "What exactly do you think you're doing?

Is this a trick question?

So YES! The trick is that no matter how you answer it, you will immediately find yourself probably doing something for her or with her, most likely spending the afternoon trying to decide which dress looks best on her.

How does this work?

It has much to do with the nature of the question itself . Girls are EXPERTS at posing questions that seem to have no right answer. For example,

"Do I look fat?"

There is no answer to this questions that won't be interpreted as a "yes". "NO" means "YES". "YES" means "YES". "I dont know" means yes. "It doesnt matter" means "yes". Even the briefest pause before speaking means "YES YES YES". I bet most guys would rather be kicked in the balls than face this question, yet, this question might be asked several times a week. Your ONLY real choice is to say NO, clearly and immediately, leaving no possibility for any subtext, and making it sound like a widely acknowledged fact, not just merely your opinion. This doesnt usually work however, but all the other options are worse.

There are several other questions for which "NO" is the only answer, and several other questions that call for an emphatic "YES" In all of these cases, any elaboration or attempt to be funny( i REALLY know this) is just unlikely to pay off.

JUST SAY NO:
Is there someone else?
Do you still fantasise about your ex?
Are you bored of me?
Are you really going to wear that?
Are you watching that (that being the biggest football match ever)?

JUST SAY YES:
Do you still love me?
Do you ever fantasise about me?
Do you like my hair in this style?
Am i prettier than her?
Are you listening to what i'm saying?

However, this is only restricted to these types of cases, for some of the inquires from our "better" halves are more like riddles. For example,

"Which shoes do i wear?"

Most probably in this situation, you're already late for dinner and she confronts you, with one pair of shoes on and another in her hand. This is NO ordinary choice. Its like the devious chicken/egg puzzle. If you pick the shoes she already has on, she'll think you're trying to hurry her. If you pick the other pair, she'll think its because you know you cant pick the ones she has on already. Some guys try a third choice, an unoffered pair of shoes, but this will inevitably be taken as an attack on her judgement. On NO account suggest another dress. For you might as well say, "You're fat." This raises the question of why is she asking you at all. She knows you dont know which shoes look better, and she knows you dont really care, so why is she trying to elicit your opinion. Listen up boys, this is all a part of an ongoing to domesticate you. As part of the same campaign, she will occasionally consult you about other things where a simple "beats me" should do the trick. BUT dont try that with the shoe dillemma, or you'll miss your reservation. Instead suggest that she try on the other shoes, then tell her the first is better. This lets you more or less off the hook, as long as you dont raise a fuss when she decides (and she probably will) that the second pair are better after all.

Some questions should be answered with another question. See how easily some of the more difficult leading questions can be parried through the simple deployment of reflexive interrogation.

Her: Where do you see this relationship going?
You: Where do YOU see this relationship going?

Her: Do you think she's hot?
You: Who??

Her: What if I were pregnant?
You: Are you pregnant?
Her: Why? Do i look fat??

WHOOPS!! OK, we're in a bit of trouble here. You should have seen that coming. Try a different approach...

Her: What if I were pregnant?
You: What if WE were pregnant? (see, dodged a bullet right there!)

"Do you believe in fidelity?"

Like most philosophical questions that seem to pop up out of the blue, this question, however, doesnt. This questions is in fact a coded inquiry about the extent of your fidelity. Thus, your resposnse will also have to be coded. Consult the examples below:

YOU SAY - Yes
YOU MEAN - How much does she know?
SHE THINKS - He's hiding something.

YOU SAY - It depends
YOU MEAN - How much does she know?
SHE THINKS - I knew it!

YOU SAY - Why do you ask?
YOU MEAN - How much does she know?
SHE THINKS - Bastard!!

YOU SAY - I dunno. Do You?
YOU MEAN - How much does she know?
SHE THINKS - How much does he know??

Honestly, by the time you are asked this question, you are already in deep trouble. It doesnt really matter what you say, as long as you dont blush when you answer!

Now, lets look at straightforward lying.

"What are you looking at?"

She means, "You were looking at that girl, weren't you?" And here you thought that you perfected that trick of keeping your neck still and just letting your eyes turn. Obviously, the truth is not the best answer here. We all now the truth sets you free, sometimes even before you've found someone else you can date. It may seem easy to answer this question with a cunning lie, but when men are caught off-guard, their ability to lie is impaired.

Here are a few common mistakes men make when asked this question.

Too specific: I was looking at the rust around the bolts on the handle of the flap of the mailbox on the northwest corner.
Not specific enough : That thing.
Too good to be true : A diamond necklace in that window back there would be perfect on you.
Too obvious : Nothing
Way too obvious : That sexy babe with the really big... err... nothing!

Well, basically, what ever the question, what you answer is up to you. HOWEVER, there is only one question that you should never, ever answer. Keep silent, cower behind the wall, pretend you didnt hear, run away, whatever, but dont say anything when she asks:

Should I get my hair cut?

If you say anything, then when she does get her hair cut (and let's face it, she's already made up her mind) and she hates it (and she will hate it), it'll be your fault. Even if you say absolutely nothing, the best you can hope for is that she will come home with her hair cut, stare you straight in the eye and say:

"Does it make me look fat?"

..... You're on your own.....

M O D E L

2009-03-05T20:44:00.004+08:00

My baby is gonna be a model!!! remember sayang, i'm your agent, and the deal is 70&-30% k.

Click HERE for the website to check out the other girls who have no chance.

This time, its my turn

2009-03-03T22:28:00.000+08:00

I feel like taking a swipe and women...

So this is my top TEN reasons what girls will NEVER EVER be caught saying. After all, i would know better. hahaha.

10. Could our relationship be more physical? I'm tired of just holding hands.

9. Sure, its ok to leave the toilet seat up. (although i never knew why on earth girls just cant put it down themselves.)

8. I think your hairy ass is sexy. ( she still hasnt mentioned that to me.)

7. Whoa, nice burp!

6. Please don't throw that old jeans away baby, the holes and tears in it are just too cute! (as i recall, she didnt say that when the topic came up!)

5. The diamond is WAY too big.

4. I'm not gonna put my lips there unless i get to swallow!

3. Wow, it really IS 10 inches!

2. Does this make my thighs look too thin?

AND NUMBER 1!!

1 . I'm wrong, you must be right, as always.

So am i right?

(:

This is for all victorians who read this blog.

2009-03-03T12:28:00.002+08:00

And we all went, Whoops!

2009-02-28T09:58:00.002+08:00

When things dont go the way you think its gonna go.

I'm sorry baby, for last night.

S.M.

2009-02-23T21:16:00.002+08:00

tell me, amanda (for all you who cant seem to figure out whether its chris or i who's blogging) THAT YOU THINK HE REMINDS YOU OF CHRIS. THAT I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS SO.

he is la.

so chris.

dev patel = chris with brit accent, shorter abit la.

SLUMDOG!

To infinity and beyond!

2009-02-10T21:33:00.031+08:00

Star wars has invaded OUR COUNTRY!!!!!!!!

OH NO!!! What will we ever do!!!!

*ehem*

No, i am not crazy. I am serious. Let me tell you what happened.

I was sitting in the train on my way back from uni like the good student i am, when the train stopped at the KLCC station. Naturally, like any horny boy, i looked at the door to see if any ah moi's came in so i could gawk at them because i was shit bored.

The doors opened and my jaws dropped. For it was non other that DARTH VADER HIMSELF who boarded the train!!! NO SHIT.

In came the Lord of Darkness and sat in the seat RIGHT OPPOSITE mine. I just wanted to scream, "YOU KILLED MY FATHER!!"

Ok no, but i did wish i brought my light saber with me. (:

Still dont get what i'm talking about?? Well, lucky for you, i decided to turn into Peter Parker and took a picture of the Evil One so that all my blog-readers can see it for themselves.

Here it is.

SEE! DARTH VADER!!!

Someone better warn CicakMan!

This post is dedicated to all of those who lost their lives in the Star Wars Movie:

Darth Vader

Darth Maul

Qui-Gon Jin

Star Trooper #5

Padme Amidala

Jango Fatt

Obi Wan Kanobi

Star Trooper #22

Jabba the Hut

And unfortunately NOT Jar Jar Binks

laksa

2009-02-02T23:37:00.005+08:00

Every 3rd day of CNY if you're in kuching just swing by my grandpa's place to experience a state of bliss.

All it takes is one bowl of laksa.

As usual, we served close to 100 bowls of laksa. All prepared by superwoman Auntie Mei. We had to buy 6kg of prawns just for our laksa party!

The adults would eat the laksa, in total the kids ate like 50 over pieces of KFC. With all that energy, the kids run upstairs and turn the whole place upside down. One of these days all that jumping and running is gona cause the floor to give way.

The kitchen, where the magic happens!

i kinda forgot to take a pic of the actual bowl of laksa together with the soup.

So i throw in a pic of emma and i k?

K.

giggle.

Lion Dance

2009-02-02T23:03:00.005+08:00

Second day was spent at Uncle Peter's place.
Its tradition that he has a lion dance performance on the second day.

On another note, i used to be terrified and totally traumatized by lion dances. So much so that my mum said i would hear the drums in my head when we were eating at kopitiams and start being frantic and turning pale and tell my parents to quickly take me away cuz theres a lion dance.

It was all in the head.

Psycho.

1.6 k

2009-02-02T22:26:00.006+08:00

1st day was all about visiting the relatives and stuffing myself with keropok and drowning in coke. and oh yeah..ang pow.

the parents.

still your little girl.

siblings.

the grandpa has 7 deer heads. gulp.

cousins.

SOPHIE!

After all the eating and visiting was back to grandma's place for BUBBLES!

sean sophie and maddy are in the pics below.

after taking their photos i joined in on the bubble blowing.
just to feel 5 years old again.
aiyo few more years cannot collect ang pow.
now i wish i was Benjamin Button.

happy moo year- reunion dinner (Kuching)

2009-02-02T21:50:00.005+08:00

Dinner with dads dad.

Emma.

How many of you are going 'I KNEW IT. THATS ALL SHE EATS'

Adjourned to Mum's Mum's place for a Bidayuh reunion

Duck. Spare ribs. Curry. Lemang. Mihun. Chicken wings. Pork. Veg.

Me. Aunt. Faye! Mum.

Cousins.
Aunties and UnclesGrandma is second from left. Rest are her siblings

After all the eating and drinking we stood out on the porch and had the perfect view of continuous fireworks which lasted for an hour all around Kuching. Our neighbour had fireworks too so it was IN OUR FACE.

Totally magical.

Kicked KLCC's fireworks ass.

In a damn rush!

2009-01-26T07:30:00.000+08:00

Im blogging to you at 7:30 in the freakking MORNING. yeaps. im leaving for t'gannu today!!

bleh.

Its a family trip to Awana, Kijal. Ugh.

Anyway, here's a quick recap of what happened over the past few days.

YESTERDAY

BABY came to visit me as i was sick and she was leaving for Kuching! So sweet of her as usually i would go over to see her off into the airport limo and wave profusely until the limo is outta sight.

But, being as awesome as she is, she came over, for i could hardly swallow, had a fever and head was so heavy it felt bigger than dannys! (my friend danny has a big head)

I look like SHIT where else she looks stunning. GOD

And then there was Euphoria, Ministry of Sound, Sunway! That happened on Thursday, the 22nd.

Met up with Mandy's KDU friends before eventually teaming up with her school mates!

Shit loads of people that night

I look so into it.

I look SOOOOO into it! (: (:

During the course of the night, I met my cousin who apparently was in the VIP room. Awesome. That spelled free drinks for both me and mandy the whole night!!! Mandy ended up getting so drunk after loads of whiskey and a tequila shot. Hahahahaha.

Mavis (his gf) and my cousin on far left. The other two....entah!

Im leaving now. Moms bising d. Ill be bringing my mac. SO no worries!!

BYE!

1/3

2009-01-24T09:43:00.000+08:00

Red + White = Pink

2009-01-22T14:36:00.006+08:00

To everyone: the guy in the last post, IS NOT AN ACQUAINTANCE OF MINE!
HE just LOOKS like my friend (fine, best friend) Logann.

THIS IS HIM. Note the distinct UNIbrow

ALTHOUGH i WISH i knew that american idol contestant cause then id be super cool and every girl one would be like all "oh chris, how do you know him? Can we meet him? Wanna make out? You're so HOT! He's so cool!!

ANYWAY, i have to stop myself here because this is like the SECOND post that is starting to be about LOGANN. can't have that now can we. Not to say you AREn't cool my friend, but this is about me and my blog and my adoring fans who worship me and idolise me and only want to know about me regular mundane everyday-joe readers.

Glad to get that off my chest (:

Moving along!!

YESTERDAY, spent the day at KLCC with MandyTheSexy and her schoolmates. It was like one of those reunion-cum-hang out cause im shit bored at home kinda things. Cum. OOOO. CUM. i LIKE that word. (: (:

Her friends are GILERZ wei. And i dont mean crazy. i mean GILERZ!

Met up with them at starbucks and like after duduking for a while, then Faten decides to get all smart on our asses and give us these riddles.

Fat: how many horses.

Us: WTF?

Fat: come on, how many horses?

Aliaa: FIVE! Chris: THREE!

Mandy: blurrr

Then up comes shahril and his wackycrazy lame jokes.

Shah: I have a riddle

Us: ok

Shah: How do you catch a squirrel?

Fat: *in deep thought*

Shah: Climb up a tree and act like a nut!! SEE, (then he acts it out) IM a nut, Im a nut!! (literally using his hands to shape a nut)

OMG
Then he went on to tell us so many other jokes which suprisingly Mandysosohot got all correct and made us all conclude that she secretly reads that World's Largest Book on ENDLESS LAME jokes.

Baby, so now i know what you're doing when your not texting me!

It was just a whole evening of laughter, chatting and summore laughter. OH, and a LOT of relationship talks.
-------
Shah: my ex and i broke up cause like she pakai the pants and i wanted to pakai.

Far: OOO, so you like to be on top la!

Fat: i dont like to be on top

Chris : AWESOME info Fat! will come in SOO handy!

Fat: SHIT! Dont tell mandy!!!

THEN Mandy, who wasnt there for she went into klcc for a bit, calls me

Mandy: B, im still inside the shop, taking a while.

Chris: its ok baby, we're still here, and oh, Fat doesnt like to be on top!

Mandy: what!! your discussing that and IM NOT THERE???

Thats my horny girl (:
-------

Far: Chris, hows you and mandy?

Chris: we're great actually

Far: EEEEEEE, MENYAMPAH betul! I ask mandy she says its great. You say its great. OhMyGOD cant you guys get like a fight or something??

Chris: well JEEEZZ sorreeee!
-------

After all that, a few went back home and the ones that were left went to do a bit of shopping before sitting ourselves at the foodcourt for dinner.

And we used to LAUGH at people who took photos on escalators.

HOW could THIS be so menyampah, FAR? btw, see you tonight!

awesome day

awesome people

awesome partner

awesome feeling.

Now, he's my best friend.

2009-01-15T21:29:00.001+08:00

Finally!!!

We have our very first Victorian / VSGian participating in this years AMERICAN IDOL!!!!

Give it up for.... LOGANN VISHAN MAHADEVAN!! (a.k.a. logannevermind)

You make me and all of us who know you SO PROUD!!

Here's a snippit of his audition:

GOOD LUCK MAN!!

Take me home

2009-01-12T22:57:00.002+08:00

I sit here with an aching heart,
watching you walk away,
waiting for that day,
when you'd never have to say goodbye.

Everytime you walk out that door,
you take a piece of me with you,
and leave me in a daze.

Its not that i dont understand,
i just wish it wasnt so,
i wish it was years from now,
in a place and time where you have all of me,
and i have all of you.

You'd never have to take those dreadful steps,
i'd never have to watch you leave,
for once we'll have nowhere else to go,
we're home, we've reached our destination.

Then you'll never have to leave,
and i'll always be in your arms,
knowing you'll never let go.

only you can make me

2009-01-11T20:31:00.004+08:00

Because you don't realise that you could make or break us,
Because we're really at our wits end,
Because as much as it is about us and not YOU,
YOU will always be an important factor.

Because as much as we dislike you sometimes,
we really don't have the right to.

Because sometimes you prove us wrong,
so we think there might still be a glimmer of hope,
and cling on for dear life thinking maybe this is it.

i wish it was easier,
but maybe it isn't supposed to be.
you cant possibly have it all right?

so even though i have my fairytale; i really do
i wait everyday for the evil twist,
and pray real hard that like all the other stories,
we will have our happy ending.

Because I really need this to work.

Together in electric dreams

2009-01-05T22:36:00.008+08:00

IM BACK IN UNI!

oh my god.

Ridiculously, my time table is all over the place. Today (monday), i had class from 9am to 10am and tomorrow i have one class from 5pm to 7pm. This is so stupid.

ANYWAY.

Ask me what was the highlight of my day... COME ON, ASK ME!

ok, here's a hint... i lived every guys dream.

guess... guess...

cant?

well, i was surrounded by not one, not two, not three, not four.... but FIVE really hot girls!!

hahaha, ok, lets get more serious.

I spent the day at Pavillion with MandySoRandy and her ReallyTooHoToBeTrue friends. Meeting up with them has always been a blast. We got to Pav at 2:30pm and waited for the other Beauties( i had one with me already). We waited. And waited. Annnndddd waited.

Farah. Nell. Just a two of the lot.

SEE. if ALL Malay's look like them, i wouldnt hate them so much!

( keep your hands out of your pants, Syamir)

Faten and her boytoy

And my very own beauty
(: (:

Finally at FOUR PM, they show up!! GIRLS. Sheesh.

After all 10 of them finally turning up at the food court, we then left and basically just did what any group of youths would do at a shopping complex. Thats right, sex, drugs and more sex walk around aimlessly in Zara, smoke up chimneys at the entrance and end up at every teenagers favourite spot, starbucks.

The day wasnt so sweet for Farah though.

Dont worry Farah. If your reading this, maybe this will cheer you up.

I once got busted for the same thing!! Only that he didnt catch me in pictures but he caught me coming home at 4 am. I got the sounding of my life! Even accused me of going to prostitutes! hahaha.
So it'll all blow over soon yea? Dont you worry!

Watching Mandy's eyes fill up with joy at the sight of her friends she hardly sees really makes me miss my gang of sausages. And we both agreed that maybe its because we have kickass awesome friends that we dont see the need to make new friends at college or at uni.

No logann, im not sucking up to get into your pants.

Good NIGHT!!

To my best friends... Dont ever leave.

I feel like Wooi Hong right now...

2009-01-05T20:33:00.001+08:00

In todays Malay Mail (5th Jan 09), there is an article about a sign board placed in a playground discouraging the youth there from bercumbu-cumbuan. BUT, the sign uses three gory pictures of a decapitated body, a head smashed to the ground and a dead body wrapped up in cloth. Seriously, at a playground. And below the pictures, it mentions on how those, without the faith (ISLAM), who commit all sorts of maksiat will end up like that. It then further literates on how they(MUSLIMS) should not be n the company of mereka yang tidak halal. It was revealed that the board was put up by the local SURAU. Tak halal? So much for the 21st Century right.

Buuut... I think the muslims ( = Nata) deserve a wake up call...

Its extraordinary to think that last year was filled with economic turmoil and it now feels like everything has turned over for the better (or so it may seem). It has only been 5 days into the new year yet we all can't help to remember the stress we all endured last year during the financial crash. Credit greats such as Lehman Brothers, AIG and Northen Rock -- as well as two banks in Belgium, one in Germany and one in Iceland -- have all either gone or been communitised.

This, in case you are twelve, and have no idea what I'm talking about, is like waking up one morning to find Hasbro, Hot Wheels, Toys R Us and Hello Kitty all been made bankrupt... which, I'm fairly sure is what will happen next. Along with every other company and person and government in the world.

The problem is simple. For the last few years the banks have been lending more money than they have, living in a never-never land where they could borrow RM100 at 3% interest and lend it at 5%. They must have known that the whole pack of cards would come tumbling down and so it did when (i presume) some Nata woke up one day and thought *SHIT, i cant afford my mortgage anymore*.

So for the next few years, you're going to think a pork chop is the last word in decadence. What's more, if you had children, you'd probably give them a lump of coal for Christmas and they'll love it. They'll give it a name and play with it, like they used to play with their private parts. Before you had to sell them in exchange for some rice.

This means Sony wont sell anymore Playstations which means they will have to lay off their workers, which means the problem will spread to Japan. And China. And India. So, thanks to the bone-idle Nata who borrowed half a mill to buy a stupid prefab house, the whole world has had it! Soon everyone would be out of a job, then the house will go, and the only way to survive will be to murder the postman and eat him.

Of course, the governments could get round the problem by increasing taxes, but whats the point when everyone is unemployed so no one's paying tax anyway? Or they could print money, which will lead to massive inflation. A loaf of bread will cost RM8000 trillion, so the RM8000 savings you took out of the bank in its last few days of solvency and hid under the stairs is not going to be enough to even buy a paper clip, let alone a down payment for a car! It'll be goodbye Proton car, hello Zimbabwe!

This will cause lots of governments to borrow cash which they wont be able to repay. So they'll go bust as well. Which means the army wont get any money so when civil disobedience begins - and it will, when everyone has eaten all the postmen - there will be no one to sort it out.

No one will be buying any oil which will cause massive pressure in Iraq, which will turn into a blood bath as all the Middle Eastern states pile in, and the West is unable to stop them, because America's gone all fucked up and Sarah Palin's back in Alaska burning polar bears to stay warm.

All because a Nata chose to fill his pickup with fuel, rather than pay his bloody mortgage.

Schools will be closed and the only people left to survive here will be those with cows, pigs and vegetables. And guns. Because at night, those without such things will come round and try to steal yours. You may very well have to die defending your paddy.

The only solution i see, is the b*mb, immediately and extensively, the whole of Nata-land. Not only would this be a punishment for their slap-dash accounting, but also it would be a deterrent for those in the future who think, "Nah, i cant be bothered to pay off my mortgage, I'd rather go smoke some Pall Mall." And we have to shoot the bankers too... to bolster morale.

I hate racism.

EmmyK Graduates!

2008-11-05T10:27:00.000+08:00

Last Saturday, I attended the pretty Emma Khoo's graduation night!
Amazing how nowadays even Std 6's get to graduate! With the gown and even a mortarboard!!
All I got in Std 6 was... nothing actually.

So here's how the night panned out.

After getting ready, I got to the Khoo's to pick the kids up and take them first to SBU's graduation hall. Everyone was running late so we HAD to go in two cars. Not that I was complaining though. How could you when they look like that. Its some sorta magical power girls have. All they have to do is just look pretty and all is forgotten. Hahahaha. I sound like I'm easy huh.

Girl of the night

I think its fun to attend balls such as this. The whole getting able to dress up and look all fancy is such an enjoyable experience. Don't you think?

Emma in her chauffeur driven limo

The chauffeur, Muthu

Muthu's date for the night.

OMG, I can see a P sticker up there. HAHA

Everyone looking their best. I dont know any of these kids... Well, they dont look recognizable without flour all over their face!! HAHA.

The only thing we have in common is matching hairstyles! Its definitely NOT the height!

So should I REALLY have my hair always short and constantly be in glasses?

It was a school hall, but a very nicely done up one at that.

She got it from her mama??

Emma with her Anugerah Khas.

Now thats a hot graduate, if ever i saw one!

AND here's the happy family!

I was driver, escort AND photographer of the night. I should start charging right? It was a great event, the food was good and the company was even better! Graduate again next year EMMA!

I-want-you-inside-me...

2008-11-03T23:15:00.001+08:00

Its the week of my final exams! Today began the grueling one week and one day's worth of total-last-minute-mugging and then it'll be freedom. Yes, freedom.

I sat for probably the most stupidest paper today. Kemahiran Maklumat (Information skills) was a big joke. In this subject, they basically teach you how to use Google. =.=

No joke. So I spent an hour in the exam hall answering questions like "Apakah maksud 'Advance Search'" and even "Berikan beberapa contoh 'search engin'." Seriously. I was done in half an hour. OMG.

I've been preparing all day for tomorrow's subject, Tamadun Islam dan Tamadun Asia. Its basically all about Islam and how they are the supreme religion and that we must all bow down to them. I'm not being a racist, I'm actually serious. For there is one chapter solely saying how Christianity is wrong and we have all sinned against God from the very beginning. All hail Muhammad.

Wonder if I would actually get ISA'd for this.

I'm shit tired from reading everything.

I can't wait to get inside you... I'm coming...

Good night everyone!

(:

Is it really halloween?

2008-11-02T15:45:00.002+08:00

Halloween is over, and even though I didn't, or more accurately DON'T celebrate it, I did however dedicate the last blog entry to those who did.

I heard of and got invited to a few Halloween parties but alas, I did not attend a single event. I just thought that I was too cool for them and they weren't worth of my presence would rather buckle down and study for my upcoming finals (which are in a few days) and spend what little time I have left over with Amanda and the boys.

But I did wonder, what is Halloween really about?

Halloween was designed as a lucrative commercialized holiday by the corporate world to try and fill up almost every month of our calender with some pointless, nonsensical cause for a celebration. SO, they came up with Halloween and made it so that it would be a day to play dress up, wear masks and give candy to kids.

Wait,

Lets assess that again.

1. Play dress up.
2. Wear masks.
3. Give candy to little kids.

I ask you this... Is that Halloween or
CHILD MOLESTERS?

That doesn't sound like a cause for a party to me... ):

Hall-of-weenies

2008-10-30T13:28:00.001+08:00

Happy Halloween everybody!

PAP, smackle, crack!

2008-10-19T21:35:00.002+08:00

Recently, someone very dear to me underwent a pap smear and the preliminary results were somewhat alarming at first. There was some distraught and discomfort but no one dared to show it.

However, after a few more scans and test, the final results were a huge relief. Though it still isn't a clear path home yet, there's nothing a few prayers and a good ol' miracle can't cure!!

It is a good thing that nothing seriously went wrong. I imagine this as the worst case senario...

You will still be in our prayers every night and day.

pwetty please with sugar on top

2008-10-18T00:52:00.001+08:00

please help to fill up this really short and simple online survey for my media research method assignment if you are a female Cleo reader within the ages of 19 and 25.

http://www.surveygizmo.com/s/74850/diaryofane-shopaholic

(:

Kuching lang!

2008-10-15T22:21:00.001+08:00

First of all... baby, my title is in hokkien!! (:
Proud tak?
Hehehe, you stopped teaching me hokkien. Please resume it. For all i can say is pa ka si, aneh gong and wa ai khoon. Sure, more than enough to get my message across (as i always eat till im full i can die, i usually think something else is stupid and im always sleepy). BUT, i also can say wa sayang lu. (:

Anyway,
In my thank you post, i mistyped one persons name in particular. Louis Lim Lee.
IM SO SORRY.

I met Louis during UM's orientation week and stuck to him like glue. He was probably the only person i could really relate too. Or maybe he was just to funny being himself and that i was too alone and desperate for anybody that i leeched on to the first person i could jump on. He hails from Kuching, Sarawak. Maybe thats why. (off late, ive been fascinated by everything from Borneo, especially their PRINCESS! (: She be hottt!)

Anyway, he's a new friend and one i intend to keep for a while. WHY? Cause im an emo freak he is taking his law degree and might prove to be a useful lawyer to me someday. This world is all about who you know and not what you know, right?

So anyway, sorry once again Louis!

Louis and I planting a tree.

Oh yes, we "share" a tree together. It was part of UM's "plant-a-tree-and-save-the-environment campaign. We adopted that plant.

p/s: Do not worry LikSheng, I'm still in love with you.

Estrella- stay.

2008-10-13T16:30:00.001+08:00

Sound straight from the twilight
Has me up all night
I can't fall asleep 'cause I keep thinking of you
And I saw a shadow outside my window and it's you.

All my sorrows flew away
Hush, keep quiet, hear me say
I don't ever want you to go
Please stay

With the moonlight dancing free
And there's no one but you and me
There's no reason to go astray
Please stay.

Just stay with me
and I will take you to Foreverland
Just stay.

BOO YA

2008-10-12T19:27:00.000+08:00

Chris,stop her! is at a mamak. I text him to say my brains were all ugh and he told me to do something obscene. THE NERVE. You know i won't do that without you. (: (: (:

Anywhosies, he told me to blog. So here i am typing away on his blog though im pretty sure he meant blog on my ive-not-been-updated-for-6-months blog. But i figured since im on most of his pics i might as well start hijacking the blog.

My internet connection is the biggest ass in this world. It cuts off even before i can upload one photo on facebook, before i type in the password to log on to my gmail and before i can even say Hi to anyone on msn.

I swear everytime i go online its like a race to beat the internet connection before it cuts me off. The Amazing Race Asia 3 aint got nothing on me!

Now i gotta go check that my internet didnt cut me off in the middle of typing this post. i gotta wait for it to come back on then hit publish. this requires great reflex

EX OH EX OH
the annoying princess who has hijacked your best friend for the past 9 months cuz she cant live without her chris,stop her!

a certain someone would label this post as 'rant'. HAHA.

Will i get ISA'd for this?

2008-10-09T22:01:00.003+08:00

OH GOD

She was choking on her cake and you were giving her "mouth-2-mouth" huh, richard!

Pictures to piss you, my readers, off!

2008-10-07T22:29:00.001+08:00

I'm finally fair!

She's happy... and she's sitting on me... no wonder she's all excited!

OK, its time i had braces... =.=

After a boy is done, he's tired.... a girl however wants more...

What am i nibbling at? Even i dont remember... it must be the bra strap. Oh wait, there was NO bra strap. (:

Rabbit & Cow... (this is for you, richard!)

Mmmmm... feisty!

With lips so kissable... to good to, deny it...

Told you she's feisty. hahaha.

It looks like we're sucking more than smooching.

(we're both really good at sucking though)

Especially her! HAHAHAHAHA....

Thank You

2008-10-01T10:33:00.002+08:00

thank you to all of you who wished me a happy birthday, be it call, text, facebook message or even blog c-box message. thanks a million!

*in order of messages recieved*

Amanda

Logann

Manjuli

Andre

Louis Lee

Lim Wee Liam

Wooi hong

Nick Kee

Usha Thomas

Nickholas Aloysious

Lik sheng

Jo ann

Pei leng

Joo lian

Aaron

Dinesh

Iris

Richard

Estee

Danny

Chun Yau

Jiun kei

Vivek

Zarina

Ledwina

Jillian

Uncle Valentine

Jody

Jhoon Aun

Vidhya

Qynn

Elena

Chien Yih

Yuan Lih

Avena

Woei Jiun

Sophea

Yee Hui

Wai Fun

Ze Mei

Farah

Syamir

Darrel Ang

Augustine Ong

Ajayan

Cheok

Tina

Syaqib

Ryan Chong

Denise

Stephanie

Augustine Gerard

Mou Huang

Marcus Vincent

Muzaini

Marieanne

Arif

Faris

Ganesan

Kamal

Ravin

Chien Hwei

Hwei Ming

Joseph How

Supasan

Marina

Stay close, don't go

2008-09-30T21:42:00.003+08:00

Waiting for your call, I'm sick, call I'm angry
call I'm desperate for your voice
Listening to the song we used to sing
In the car, do you remember
Butterfly, Early Summer
It's playing on repeat, Just like when we would meet
Like when we would meet

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

Stripped and polished, I am new, I am fresh
I am feeling so ambitious, you and me, flesh to flesh
Cause every breath that you will take
when you are sitting next to me
will bring life into my deepest hopes, What's your fantasy?
(What's your, what's your, what's your...)

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

And I'm tired of being all alone, and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home
x4
(I know everything you wanted isn't anything you have)

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight
(I know everything you wanted isn't anything you have)

YOUE CALL - SECONDHAND SERENADE

Since you've gone, i barely get to talk to you much. I miss you.
p/s: come back quickly, baby.

Born for this...

2008-09-28T15:00:00.001+08:00

I finally hit the big 2 0. (thats how JilThePretzel calls it)

Sitting here typing this post on how I spent my twentieth birthday made me reminisce on all that i have had done/accomplished in my 20 years of living. Looking back at all the good and bad times, i can't help but wonder how i could have even had those experiences, because mind you, not many kids would have got what i got.

I'm gonna try and see if i can recap every single achievement/failure i've had in the past 20 years.

Achievements:
1. Being born. Hey, some might say it was an achievement. I weighed 8 lbs. That called for some serious pushing!

2. Getting into a government school. Yes, most kids get in just like that. Not me, I had some severe complications with my application, as i'm not of this country's nationality. I ended up getting a SMK (A). YES, an islamic religious school. Thats how fucked up funny and interesting our education system is. But i did finally get into a regular school, with much help from the "strings" which we pulled at.

3. Elected the first non-malay prefect in primary school (was only std 2). OH YES. This is a MAJOR achievement i would say. Enrolled in a school of 99.99% malays bumiputeras and already 5 years old, it was naturally hard for any non-bumi to get anything. So thats a big achievement.

4. Graduating primary school with a perfect score in my UPSR. OK, so everyone gets all A's for UPSR. Maybe not so much of an achievement. But still, got me an expensive dinner AND a PS1. HAHA.

5. Getting into one of the best schools in town. (i would say best reputation. thats all thats best.) This achievement gave me the best years of my life.

6. Getting all the top posts in school, starting of from monitor, to senior prefect... and from patrol leader to eventually troop leader. Being in a school where students pride them selves with co-curricular achievement is hard, let me tell you.

7. Falling in love for the first time. YES, i FINALLY got my first kiss at the age of 17. That HAS to be an achievement right?

8. Getting great results in major public exams in secondary and tertiary levels. Hey, for the amount of work i put in, ITS A BLOODY GREAT ACHIEVEMENT.

9. Breaking the Malaysian record for longest walk by students. 224km from Malacca to Johor. Now this is one memory that i will carry for the rest of my life. I would have never dreamed of being able to accomplish such a feat. Who gets to do that, really?

10. Hosting the best campfire ever (it might be self-proclaimed, it might be not).

11. Getting into one of the best local uni's in the country. Whether it was based on merit or race or just pure divine intervention, I STILL GOT IN.

12. Amanda. (need i say more?)

NOW. Let's look at the failures:

1.

I CANT THINK OF ANY....

...
...
...
kidding la. Did you really think i was that cocky? Wait! Don't answer that.

Failures:
1. Getting caught playing truant by the POLICE. Yes, hahaha, that certainly is a memory to keep. Not that it taught me anything. Cause i just kept doing it. Although the act did cost me other things along the way.

2. I may have got excellent results in public exams, but they were not perfect! (yes, so i cant deal with not having the last A.)

3. Never really achieving success at the forensics tournament i took part in. Mind you, i took part for 4 years in a row. Closest i ever got was a 6th place finish. Sigh.

4. Never continuing my football. I played for school for a brief moment, but resigned after all the racism that was going on in the team. Maybe i should have stayed. Who knows where i might be playing now.

There are many minor failures i suppose, but i wont waste my time listing them all out.

Ive smoked, drank, got wasted, had fights, fell in love, got my heart broken, had steamy back seat make out sessions, stole, climbed walls, hosted parties and events and have even been brutally beaten up.

And all i have to say for all that and everything else is... If i had a choice, i would do it again. To the exact same detail.

Happy birthday Chris George. You've certainly come a long way.

Merdeka Baru!

2008-09-17T22:50:00.001+08:00

This is way overdue. HAHA.

But here's what i did for merdeka.

They like it long. 12 inches long.

Seafood Aglio Olio. Not the best.

Chris v1.0. Danny

My Carbonara

Danny a.k.a Macho a.k.a Poser

Awww

This is ME. not danny.

Once again im the only odd one out. Yup, you guessed it, the most good looking.

Aqwim. Mandy. She came up to meet us.

They're going to be doctors one day and all they can think about is drinking till they pass out. NICE.

Well, im certainly happy. Mandy or alcohol?

The picture is upside-down though...

Apparently spraying people is fun.

I took this pic!

XOXO.

They're so cute together!

Next post should be about AVRIL!!!

sexay!

2008-09-17T22:43:00.000+08:00

Chris C. George v2.0

Sexy kan!

Man @ 22

2008-09-16T14:19:00.003+08:00

Gary's birthday at Cloth&Clef.

Jill. Gary.

Mandy. Me.

Nice kan (:

Jill pre-tequila.

oh oh, tak tahu!!

Product : (PURPLE)

Thats not the only thing that was "taken" in the toilet.

No, didn't mean "taking" this.

Still sitting straight up after the shots.

It was a night of all sorts. Laughter, Puke and.... foggy windscreens. (:

(RED) : Mandy's 18th

2008-09-13T14:59:00.000+08:00

Here are pictures from the princess' 18th birthday. Excuse the fact that its a month old.

Mandy <3. Jill.

www.3girls1bed.com

Notmyprincess Gary

now this is a princess! rebecca claire.

red dresses, red tops, red balloons...

The spread.

emma.

as ppl would say...Which one is the mom? HAHAHA. i just say its a family of hotties.

vid(i think). mandy. jill.

yup, it was vid.

Meet the in-laws??

the "adults".

4 pretty girls.

aren't they just too cute. i want 4.

majuli.vid.

the other woman who ~~thinks she~~ controls my life

(: wheres logann?

i'd say coolest parents ever but i wouldnt anyone to get jealous now, would i?

ive always loved her lips. they're thick, soft and juicy. and god damn sweet!

i put this pic in cause finally there is one of me!

Princess Amanda

the ~~vontrapps~~ khoos

a look into the future?

another look into the future? hahahahaha

finally one with richard loo the spanker.

second best blow ever!

SMUSH!

happy.

isaac's head?

SQUISH!

the best birthday gift was in that bag!!!!!

even though it wasnt my birthday. hahahaha

isaac george. 0169743114.

part 2 comes tomorrow. im gonna go watch one tree hill. hahaha

Its been far too long

2008-09-13T14:56:00.000+08:00

Its been too long. I know. Couldn't blog because my Mac adapter blew a fius and so i had to wait for 2 weeks for a replacement from Apple.

But ive got it! So its back to business!

ipamemaaaaaaaaa

2008-08-28T13:51:00.000+08:00

I got part 1 of my two part birthday gift. She said that I needed it immediatly.
SO...
She got me...

YES! She got me IPANEMAs!!!! yay!!!!

You just totally upped my fuck, baby!!

heheheheh...

Pays off to have you as a girlfriend.

Love you!

3 times.

2008-08-23T11:11:00.006+08:00

A regular person celebrates their birthday once a year.
But AmandaFaith is no regular person.
She's the luckiest person on earth.
She celebrated her 18th birthday THREE TIMES!

Well... Maybe im luckier... Because I was there for ALL THREE. (:

My birthday gift to her was me cooking for her. And this is how it went.

She left the house to drop her siblings at a party. When she left, I quickly got to work. I dropped rose petals all over the table, took out two candle sticks and brought out the menu. Yes, I made a menu for the night.

Once she got back, Isaac (Seu Chef) and I started cooking.

SueChefIsaac bringing out the Appetizers.

She came home to change... And came down in the most stunning of dresses. She came down looking like Blair Waldorf of Gossip Girl.

You can only imagine how hot she was last night.

And dinner then began. Here is the menu:

Yup, its a personalized menu

Birthday girl all pwetty.

After having prawns with lettuce for starters, then came the main course and side dishes! Lovely chicken breast marinated in a mystery mix of spices and herbs, poached cauliflowers smothered in creamy white sauce and holland potatoes roasted to perfection, seasoned in olive oil, salt and pepper. Sounds like something Jamie Oliver would cook!! ~~We're much better~~

Don't we look happy? ~~ITS THE WINE.~~

It was so delicious, she couldn't hold still for the camera.

We had light, fruity white wine to go with our meat. Spaltese Fruity White to be exact. All the way from Australia.

I love my wine.

Dinner was completed with a big bowl of classic banana split. (: Caveland bananas blanketed with Neopolitan ice-cream, topped with chocolate syrup and almond flakes. Mouth watering isn't it?

Yummmmmm...

SeuChefIsaac joined us at the end for ice-cream. He was tired, and deserved a rest. (:

In his hand is his chef hat. yes. he wore a chef hat the whole night. HOW CUTE. (:

Then came the all important part... settling the bill! (: hehehe. if you noticed, the menu indicated the price of each dish. And the birthday girl paid IN FULL WITH TAX (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (:

*count how many smileys are there richard!*

Hope this was a memorable birthday, sayang!!

Wait till you see what I have in stored for your 19th!!!

With love,

Chris George

You make me sooooo HOT...

2008-08-23T11:06:00.003+08:00

take that PAS Youth.

Avril Lavigne is back on!!!

SUCK on that LOGANNNNN!!!!!

Click here for news article.

You're so gay

2008-08-19T22:19:00.005+08:00

Sorry to all you haters out there.

But you cuntwhores gotta start getting a life and finding something else to do with your time.

To all my readers, if you're wondering what this is about, here's an explanation.

Some people do things without integrity and pull off some of the greatest acts of coward-ness. Jealousy runs through these people's veins when others are unmistakeably happy and they resort to 5-year-old-playground-revenge. Needless to say these cowards would never be able look me or her face to face. What protects them is the safe environment of the internet, locked away in their cold, dark room with no friends but the cicak on the wall.

Our lives are not for your entertainment, so feel free to kiss my arse and fuck off.

And here's a personal message from my sponsor :

Dear "anti amanda", "..." and "LOL",

If it is really so unbearable and painful and torturous for YOU to see my supposedly slutty, bitchy face and anorexic fugly body on my blog, then please move on to another blog.

Your snide comments and HORRID SPELLING (i keep telling you it is spelled ANOREXIC not ANEROXIC) is DEFINITELY NOT welcome on KALEIDOSCOPE.

XOXO,

your slutty faced fugly anorexic bitch of a blogger.

21

2008-08-19T21:28:00.002+08:00

Last Saturday was Jody W.'s 21st birtday!

I took the cake...

Seriously. I took it home.

Anyway, here are some pics.

It was Hawaiian themed, by the way...

Yes... i wear black shirts in Hawaii.

MY GOD i look terrible.

*come back soon.*